The wolf put an advertisement in a paper:
"I sell three houses - a straw house, a wood house and a brick house … and 300 pounds fresh pork."



"Everyone has own taste", said the dog and licked his ass.



"I made a mistake again!" said the hedgehog and got down from the brush hair.

"What makes you drink so much?"
"Nothing makes me. I'm a volunteer."




“Aliens kidnapped me! I remember only a narrow room with some buttons and we were moving up ... “
“What aliens? ... We brought you home drunk in the elevator!

   A blonde turned on her TV set and heard:
"You are watching CNN!"
At this moment the blonde started yelling,
"Oh, shit! How do they know what I'm watching!?"




   Two blondes are sitting on a terrace and the one asks,
“Dear, what do you think which is closer: the moon or London?”
The other,
“Oooh! Darling, are you so stupid? Can you see London, huh?!”

   Two men.
"My wife is like a lightning on the road."
"Why? She drives fast?"
"No. She crashes into every tree."




   Holmes and Watson was having dinner. Sherlock Holmes asked the doctor, “Well, Watson, what do you think about Baskervilles dog?”
"It’s delicious, Holmes! Can I have some more?"

"Daddy, Daddy, what is mean: "Format C: Complete?""



A police report:
„A big spammer was killed yesterday. The number of suspects is 35 million."



"I’llbeattodeaththisonewhobrokemyspace."
"I_am_accustomed_already."

    A confused young man said to a doctor:
"Doctor, a friend of mine suspects that he is infected with a venereal disease. What should he do in such a case?"
"Okay! Take off your pants and show me your friend."




    A dermatologist explains why he chose this specialty.
“Oh, for three reasons. First, my patients do not wake me up at night, secondly, they do not die from these diseases. And thirdly, they never regain their health…”