A nun went to the abbess of the nunnery and told her that she was going to leave the convent. The abbess asked her, "Why, my daughter, do you want to leave?"
"Well, Mother, I’m going to be a prostitute."
"What?!"
"I’m going to become a prostitute."
"Oh, it’s ok! I heard Protestant", the abbess was relieved.

    A rich Lithuanian emigrant, who had lived for a long time in America, went back to his home land. Suddenly, his beloved dog, which he had taken with him, died. The emigrant went to the Catholic Church and asked the priest:
"Father, may I have my dog buried here?"
"But how, this is a sacrilege, my son!"
"But it was my favorite dog. I loved it as a human being ... "
"Go to the Russians. They are greedy people. Give them some money and they’ll bury the dog in their Orthodox Church," said the priest.
"If I give them 50 000 dollars, will they agree?"
"50 000 dollars?! Ah, my child, why didn’t you tell me the dog was a Catholic?"

    A wedding party. Young men was walking between the tables with bottles of wine and brandy. He saw the priest and asked him,
“What do you prefer, Father, wine or brandy?”
“…And beer, my son!”, replied the priest. “And beer.”