A nun confessed to the abbess that she had sinful thoughts and was feeling sinful herself. The abbess sent her to the local bishop, explaining to her that he was the most competent in such issues.
    The nun went to the bishop and complained to him that she was feeling sinful. He reassured her, “Don’t worry, daughter. Undress. I will check it out.”
She undressed. He thoroughly ran his fingers over her and said,
“Daughter, there are not any external signs, but we have to put the sinmeter inside for most certainty."
   The bishop made sex with the nun a long time and then sent her purified to go into the convent. The abbess welcomed the nun at the door,
“Daughter, what did he say?”
“Well, he tried me with sinmeter ...”
“ ... Ah, scoundrel! For two years he has been lying to me that the sinmeter is broken and pluged and urges me to blow it."

    A man was travelling in a crowded bus. A young lady was standing in front of him. After a while the man said, "Wow, what a big butt!"
Then the girl turned back and slapped him in the face. While she was turned back however, the man said again,
"Wow, what small boobs!"
The girl turned back again and slapped him one more time.
After a while the man said,
"Excuse me for what I said a moment ago, but if you want I can give you an advice how to make your boobs bigger."
The girl thought it over and said,
"Okay. Tell me how."
"Every morning when you get up, take a piece of toilet paper and start rubbing it into your boobs."
"Does it work?"
"I don’t know, but as I see it has worked on your butt."

    Monday – a very, very, good day! The leader’s daughter lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her.
Tuesday – a very, very, good day! The leader's wife lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her.
Wednesday – a very, very, very, very, very, very, bad day! ... I lost! … Now they're looking for me.

    A father and his young son were on holiday at a seaside. The child was playing in the dunes on the beach, when suddenly looking into a small dell, his father having sex with some cute woman.
"Daddy, Daddy, what are you doing?"
"Ah, but ... how to tell you", the father is embarrassed. "A-a-ah ... Look! I pump this lady like air-mattress here. I pump her for not to sink into the sea, when she go to swim."
"This is nonsense, Daddy. Does not work. The last year, while I and mom were here, one man, from the next room in the hotel, all day was pumping mom. He was pumping mom up front, then back. Then she was blowing through his pump-nozzle. Whatever. The next day mom has nearly drowned in the sea."