In the evening. A woman was walking in the park. Suddenly she heard a male voice behind her, “Stop!”
She stopped.
“Lie down!”
She lay down. After a while a man approached.
“Madam, are you okay? I’m playing with the dog here and when I turned back I saw you lying on the ground.”

    A man was walking through the desert and became terribly thirsty. He saw an oasis, approached and what to see. A dragon was keeping the spring. The man gathered all his forces and courage and began fighting with the dragon. At once the dragon said, “What are you doing, idiot?”
“I want to drink some water.”
“Okay! Drink. Nobody stops you. Why do you want to fight?"

    Near Lake Ontario two old Russian women are sitting on the bench.
“It's nice here!” said one. “Everything is in order. Grandchildren are working. I receive a pension. Even I have a grapefruit.”
Another interrupted her, “You’re so stupid! The word is not “grapefruit”, the word is… “boyfrend.”

    A professor and a soldier were travelling by train. They kept silence for some time. The professor was very bored. Suddenly he said,
"Listen to me. We both will be travelling a long time. I'm bored. Do you want to play a game to make our time more enjoyable?"
"Okay", said the soldier.
"I suggest to you playing the following game. The questions and answers game. And will bet to make it more interesting. I'll ask you a question. If you can't answer to it, which is perfectly natural, as I'm a professor and I'm much smarter than you, you'll give me a dollar. If you answer to my question, which is almost impossible, as you're just a soldier, and I'm a professor and I'm much smarter than you, I'll give you a hundred dollars. And conversely. You'll ask me a question. If I don't answer to you, which is absurd, I'll give you a hundred dollars. And if I answer to you, which is completely normal, you'll give me just one dollar. Okay?"
"Fine", said the soldier. "I'll ask first."
"Okay. Go on!", said the professor.
"What is the animal that has 5 feet, 4 eyes, 2 tails and a long blond fur?"
The professor thought a long time but could not guess.
"Well. I surrender. You win. I can not answer. Take $ 100."
The soldier took the money, put it into his pocket and kept silent.
"So, what is the animal?", the professor asked impatiently.
"I don't know, too. Here you are, take your $ 1."