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A nun
confessed to the abbess that she had sinful thoughts and
was feeling sinful herself. The abbess sent her to the
local bishop, explaining to her that he was the most
competent in such issues.
The nun went to the bishop and complained to him that she was
feeling sinful. He reassured her, “Don’t worry,
daughter. Undress. I will check it out.”
She undressed. He thoroughly ran his fingers over her
and said,
“Daughter, there are not any external signs, but we have
to put the sinmeter inside for most certainty."...
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In the evening. A woman
was walking in the park. Suddenly she heard a male voice
behind her, “Stop!”
She stopped.
“Lie down!”
She lay down. After a while a man approached.
“Madam, are you okay? I’m playing with the dog here and
when I turned back I saw you lying on the ground.”
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While a man was taking
a shower and his wife was in a bath-robe, their neighbor
came into their house, looked at the woman, took out a
thousand dollars and said, "If you remove your bath-robe, I’ll
give you a 1000 dollars."
The woman took off the bathrobe. The neighbor looked at
her for a few minutes and before he left, he said,
"Tell your husband to call me."
The man came out of the bathroom and asked,
"Who was it?"
The woman answered,
"The neighbor."
The man,
"Did he give you back these 1000 dollars that he owed
me?"
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God save the drunkards (parody)
After many years of efforts, the
scientists finally have read the inscription on the
column in Abu Simbel temple in Egypt. For many years the
historians had been hoping this inscription to give them
very valuable information about the unknown dark century
when the New Kingdom changed the Old Kingdom. Literal
translation of the inscription reads,
"O-o-oh... ... Hemyanu! ...
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lonely man went home late at night. It rains, it’s
cold, but he was drunk and in a good mood. Suddenly the
man heard a thin voice, “Take me with you, good man!”
The man looked around – a frog. That’s a miracle!
“Are you talking to me?”
“Yes. I’m,” said the frog. “I'm hungry and tired, I want
to sleep, I’m cold.”
"Why not? I'll take it,” thought the man and put
the frog in his pocket. He returned to his apartment,
took out the frog and put it to the radiator to warm it.
The man sat at the table to had dinner...
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